When you finish hiking a long trail, it takes awhile to get the trail out of your system. Many of us find ourselves thinking about the trail every day. Some of us feel profoundly changed by the trail, although it is often difficult to say exactly how we are changed. To a large extent, life goes on. We go back to our jobs and our lives. We only occasionally go outside, at night, in the dark, to pee. Life seems “normal” again, or it would appear so to our family and friends. But, sometimes–we hope often–something is unequivocally different about us. If we are lucky, we find that difference playing out in our lives. This is a story of how a failed search for a backpacking epiphany profoundly changed my life and set me on a different course.